My mother never wanted children. This was evident from the toxic, cold and violent environment in her home and the caustic conditions in her womb. She had several miscarriages. I wonder how I managed to survive, albeit in a damaged,deluded state, while three of my potential siblings perished.
So as luck would have it, it appears that I stumbled on life,
that I will stumble though life,
and will soon stumble and leave this life
all without any real idea of what's going on around me.
To me, all is chaos,
uncontroled circumstance bottled in a self inflicted fantasy
brought on by my unavoidable association with that woman.
